Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Hmm
Well, it has been awhile since the miscarriage and my last blog. Its winter and that always puts me into a funk so I never want to do anything. I sell cookies also, so I am making a huge amount right now. I have actually missed my period... which is odd. We will see what happens I guess. God works in mysterious ways; I just hope all the pop I have been consuming is not going to affect me if I am pregnant again or still....
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Took The Test
Well I took my pregnancy test today and it was negative so that means that we did in fact miscarry the baby. For anyone who may be reading this feeling sorry.... don't. I have made peace with it and with the Lord. His joy is my strength. I do not believe that I did anything wrong, nor do I believe that this was the will of the Lord. A miscarriage is a result of sin in the world.
Today I went to the inner court of the Lord. I sat down on the floor, put my hand on his scepter and then I looked up. When I did, the Lord was standing in the court, holding my child. He was small, wrapped in a blanket and had thick dark hair. He was precious. It was then that I realized that my little Ranen is in heaven right now. That does not mean that he will be there forever. I will see my son and the daughter that I miscarried last year. The Lord is good and we need to remember that at all times. I will not allow the enemy to steal the joy I had when I was carrying my son or my daughter and I will not let him steal my promises because the Lord never backs down on his word.
For anyone who is going through the same thing as me: Please know that there is nothing that you did wrong. You can't pray any harder than you believe in. You cannot have anymore faith than you believe in and do not throw out the faith that you did have when you were pregnant. Even if we do not receive a result in our time of faith and testing, in time of prayer and worship, that does not mean that the Lord did not hear you, or that what you fought through does not count to Him. He is daddy God and he cares about you just as much and more as you cared about your little one. I know that my kids are being taught and watched over by the best candidate for the job of Father and he knows what is best even when we feel like he doesn't. Stay in a good place and do not allow the enemy to take you off of the solid ground. Find rest and comfort in the arms of the Father.
Today I went to the inner court of the Lord. I sat down on the floor, put my hand on his scepter and then I looked up. When I did, the Lord was standing in the court, holding my child. He was small, wrapped in a blanket and had thick dark hair. He was precious. It was then that I realized that my little Ranen is in heaven right now. That does not mean that he will be there forever. I will see my son and the daughter that I miscarried last year. The Lord is good and we need to remember that at all times. I will not allow the enemy to steal the joy I had when I was carrying my son or my daughter and I will not let him steal my promises because the Lord never backs down on his word.
For anyone who is going through the same thing as me: Please know that there is nothing that you did wrong. You can't pray any harder than you believe in. You cannot have anymore faith than you believe in and do not throw out the faith that you did have when you were pregnant. Even if we do not receive a result in our time of faith and testing, in time of prayer and worship, that does not mean that the Lord did not hear you, or that what you fought through does not count to Him. He is daddy God and he cares about you just as much and more as you cared about your little one. I know that my kids are being taught and watched over by the best candidate for the job of Father and he knows what is best even when we feel like he doesn't. Stay in a good place and do not allow the enemy to take you off of the solid ground. Find rest and comfort in the arms of the Father.
Monday, November 24, 2008
It doesn't get any easier
Today has been a hard day. The past couple weeks feel like the longest ones of my life. Two weeks ago, I started bleeding. I looked into the mirror and I declared that this was not happening. It just came out of nowhere. I was actually in Saint Louis by then and was immediately returned home. I was there for one day.
The midwife decided that she wanted me to go to the hospital to have an ultrasound. I did and the hospital did everything but give me an ultrasound. They took my blood which came up O+ (which I had already told him) Everything checked out ok in my exam BUT my urine level of HCG was .8 and it should have been much higher than that. They sent me home telling me along the way that I had a missed miscarriage.. I had a miscarriage and I missed it?
The Lord was there the whole way and He spoke to me about a couple of things that I should do.. so I did them. I am standing on the promise of a child and in two days I will be testing again per the request of my midwife. If the test is positive then I am still pregnant and that is what I am expecting to see.
The Lord can do amazing things and we need to never forget that! What we cant see is what we believe in as Christians. Along with the fact that we cannot see these things, we need to have the trust and the faith that the Lord is the Lord and he is the same yesterday, today and forever. With these three basic things, we know that our God is great and can do great things. This is not an easy thing that I am walking out, but " I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me"
The midwife decided that she wanted me to go to the hospital to have an ultrasound. I did and the hospital did everything but give me an ultrasound. They took my blood which came up O+ (which I had already told him) Everything checked out ok in my exam BUT my urine level of HCG was .8 and it should have been much higher than that. They sent me home telling me along the way that I had a missed miscarriage.. I had a miscarriage and I missed it?
The Lord was there the whole way and He spoke to me about a couple of things that I should do.. so I did them. I am standing on the promise of a child and in two days I will be testing again per the request of my midwife. If the test is positive then I am still pregnant and that is what I am expecting to see.
The Lord can do amazing things and we need to never forget that! What we cant see is what we believe in as Christians. Along with the fact that we cannot see these things, we need to have the trust and the faith that the Lord is the Lord and he is the same yesterday, today and forever. With these three basic things, we know that our God is great and can do great things. This is not an easy thing that I am walking out, but " I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me"
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
An Introduction
"NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]." Hebrews 11:1
Welcome to my blog. My name is Klair and this is going to be my journey of walking out my pregnancy with the Lord. I found out that I was pregnant about three months ago. A year ago, I had a miscarriage. Since then, the Lord has closely taken watch over me, moved me, and taught me some valuable lessons. For the year, I had the faith that the Lord would restore my loss. I seldom lost hope, and now a year later, here is my prayer answered.
I am three months pregnant! Its hard to believe, but here it is. I have decided to go with a homebirth and have a great midwife. I have decided not to go to the doctor, but it hasn't been as easy as it sounds.
The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy and that is what he has set out to do with this pregnancy. From the get go, the enemy has tried telling me that this is a lie, but the Lord is strong and he prevails in my life. So come on the journey of faith with me and I will soon have some pictures posted on here of my progress. Blessings to all who read this blog.
Welcome to my blog. My name is Klair and this is going to be my journey of walking out my pregnancy with the Lord. I found out that I was pregnant about three months ago. A year ago, I had a miscarriage. Since then, the Lord has closely taken watch over me, moved me, and taught me some valuable lessons. For the year, I had the faith that the Lord would restore my loss. I seldom lost hope, and now a year later, here is my prayer answered.
I am three months pregnant! Its hard to believe, but here it is. I have decided to go with a homebirth and have a great midwife. I have decided not to go to the doctor, but it hasn't been as easy as it sounds.
The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy and that is what he has set out to do with this pregnancy. From the get go, the enemy has tried telling me that this is a lie, but the Lord is strong and he prevails in my life. So come on the journey of faith with me and I will soon have some pictures posted on here of my progress. Blessings to all who read this blog.
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